Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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