Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just gift wrapped bread.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
