All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize