You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
