She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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