i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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