I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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