dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
