why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
