stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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