She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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