I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
