the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
