Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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