Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
