I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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