Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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