I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I deserve this hangover.
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