This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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