your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
