I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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