why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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