I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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