I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
two words: eviction party
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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