I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
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