I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
