I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Someone signed my nipple.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
