You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Michael Bay diarrhea
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
this hospital has no fireball
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Randomize
