Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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