i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
