if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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