dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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