So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
