Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
