i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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