Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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