i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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