i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
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