I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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