$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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