he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
My balls are so social today.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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