hell yes lets make some ravioli
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
