Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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