I want to have your abortion
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
