Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(434): View more from Virginia

Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.

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(905): View more from Toronto

me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.

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(310): View more from California

i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.

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(679): View more from Michigan

I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.

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(631): View more from New York

I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress

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(847): View more from Illinois

I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.

(1-847): View more from Illinois

What a great combination.

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