Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
