I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
