It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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