I just made out with a guy for $7.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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