Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
