I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
