when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
