There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
