You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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