He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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