He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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