I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
