so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize