So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
