I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
