He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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