is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
